I used to be pretty popular.
Students thought something of me and would line up during November (and sometimes before) to have me proofread their personal statements for college. I would literally spend my entire lunch period reading students papers until the line went away. Sometimes, it didn’t go away and I didn’t get to eat any of my lunch.
This year, I told students I would read anything they wrote for college and/or write them a letter of recommendation. But there was a catch–it would cost them 50 bucks. But there was another catch–they would get back their 50 bucks once they wrote me a thank-you note, baked me something delicious, or both. This was in response to the class of 2016, who had me read and write many papers for them, all for nothing in return. It’s not that tough, people. Plus, I’m pretty much forcing students to have some manners. Hey, somebody has to.
I am popular no more, it seems. Okay, there are a few former students who I had two years ago who walk into my class and drop off their personal statements, as if I am a service. I won’t read one word of their papers unless they are present with me, though. It’s November 15th and only one former student has had me read her work.
I have two students whose work is in my briefcase, but no 50 bucks from either. It is not my job to read those papers–this is not in my contract at all–but I will read them and mark them up and offer suggestions since I have barely had to read papers at all during lunch this year. Maybe it’s the 50 bucks or the horror of writing a thank-you note to the person who could get you into a good college, but I don’t get when I turned into Old Man Warner, from Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery.”
After all, the Old Man is told, “That over in the north village they’re talking of giving up the lottery,” to which he replies, “Pack of crazy fools.” This is a nostalgic cry, but I’ve given up on the past. As for the young folks, maybe they are crazy, but at least I get to eat my lunches in November. Thanks???